rocket flower.

the lettuce has flowered.

every night i see it through the window illuminated by the kitchen light.
tonight i photographed it.
it's so pretty.

this land is broken

the world is broken and i am broken.
i look like a zombie and feel like an eighty-year-old-chain-smoker -

have had almost eight hours sleep in the last forty eight. i don't think it's enough, not with all the driving.
cursed.
like the land in this photograph. that hill.
tapu.

oh, and today i am very proud of a friend.

the body is a temple.

this painting is comprised of canvas, wire, oil paint, cigarette butts, matches, cicada's wings, newspaper, pastels and wood.

still life.

this bottle contains lemon verbena and has sat on the windowsill for three years.
it has great meaning to no one
but me.
the wasp has been there somewhat less time.

it's been years.

it's been years wasted chasing something i can't define...
i've gotten old and tired from searching.
it's still not down this road.

I go in my head.

got given watercolours for my birthday by an aunt.
i haven't tried in years.
just another night of sleeplessness nibbled away like ends of fingers..

'Cos we didn't go..

'cos we didn't, i'm putting photos up of where we go when we do get there...
we were all set to go here when sam got a call asking him to edit something over the weekend...
bung.
but hey, check out william..

Little Red.

these are the three photos i took of my cousin emily that i love the very most...

John & Yoko.

The power's just gone out.
The laptop battery lasts only minutes (and the laptop doesn't even close anymore thanks to me and my erratic leaping. fuck.)...
Okay,
so i'm off up north again,
for five days with sam and the family of animals. when i'm up north i tend to think a lot about people who aren't around anymore and how i still am around, and the meaning of life. sam's mother has this amazing record collection but of course many of those legends she revered when she was young died fast and lived faster, it's sad.
every record i pick up i end up thinking about that person, and then a whole bunch of dead musicians drift in my consciousness and i find it hard to shake them..
and what with the ex tenant hanging himself, it's a lot of hyper-awareness of trying to live in the now. it's a holiday.
I found this photo ages ago, just never put it up anywhere for various reasons (it's a brilliant photo taken by Ringo as it happens, dunno why i didn't..), but i'm going up north again and these two were what i was thinking about last time i went up so ..
AND THEN,
my friend Jess had put up these photographs of when Paul & Linda met for the first time, and i thought it was a really beautiful thing because in these photos they're at a party and Linda has her little camera and Paul is SMOKING A CIGARETTE and they're both wearing these striped jackets and i thought to myself that's really cute cos at some point in the conversation one of them would have probably mentioned that to the other one and then they would have had this feeling something pretty special was going on..
So i'm getting ready to up north and feeling lazy, so if you care about what i think about John & Yoko, go here,
otherwise don't worry, but
what i really wanted to show you was this.
now don't you think that looks just like the shot above?
i do.
of course i wish a better fate for my friends than the one shared by john and yoko.

'til redemption day.

so tonight i watched sunday, this news show which, well it's self explanatory. they were talking to this new zealand comedian (mike king) who had previously been the spokesperson for new zealand pork. you know, pork, as in piggies but all munched up?

anyway, the king used to appear in all these tv commercials talkin' cool about pork and giving pork recipes.
missed part of the beginning of sunday, but the gist of things was that mike king finally got wind of how pigs are actually kept, and went and filmed a piggery in the middle of the night and now clearly, is trying to be an advocate for non-caged meats. i pretty much cried through the whole thing, and sam put on a serious face, which was kind of him. sam won't buy battery pork, but if he was at work, say, and they brought him a bacon sandwish for lunch, he definitely wouldn't enlighten them about it.
anyway, i hated mike king on the basis of those ads. hated him. i used to change the channel if they came on when i was in the room. so it was really amazing to see him do a complete 360 and now be doing so much to help the lovely piggoos.
cos it's like hell on earth what they go through.
now i'm not going to go on any more about it,
except to say, sam thought it was really nice when they sneakily bought a pig from one of these battery pig farms and drove it in the back of a trailer to its new home (outside in a FIELD with other pigs) and this pig, it looked so fucking happy, and it was looking all around, and it was looking at the sky and sam said, I bet she's happy to see the sky..
and it occurred to me that these pigs, they sometimes stand up for up to five years in a concrete cage they can't turn around or lie down in and they get sores on their tails cos they don't quite fit, and anyway, then the day comes, the fateful day, the day when they get crated up and shipped off for execution. so it occurs to me, on that day of death, that's the only day in their whole life when they get to see the sky. whether it be sunny or raining or whatever, that's it. that's their day to see the sky. and i bet they're really happy and they think something exciting or nice is finally happening for them, and then they get there, and it's like...
anyway, then it's all over, their sad little life is over and so that's redemption day.
it's the best day of their life.
people make me sick..

465.

There are 465 people on this site right now with an interest in lurking.. and if you click that link it'll tell you a different amount. i keep trying but i can't keep up, more and more people with an interest in lurking keep coming and going, daily.
It's a bizarro world...

wish i was...

wish so much i was jane birkin in this e-type, roaring off to somewhere stylish and amazing, except i'd like to maybe switch seats with john barry...

:)
as far as i know this photograph of was taken by someone called derek bayes in '65...
do you know, when the e-type first was unveiled
enzo ferrari said it was the most beautiful car ever made...
i believe it was at the time...
but nowadays we have this

the first.

my first post won't be tonight because it's morning already.
insomnia is a dis ease..
zzzzzz.
ha.
if only it were that simple...

do you know,
what appears to be the moon in this shot is actually a kink in the celluloid from careless developing..
a
happy
accident.